QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
(Please keep in mind, the answers below are the 10 second sound bites. Obviously each answer could be discussed as a full conversation by itself.)
Is your decision to adopt influenced by your faith?Absolutely! God put adoption on our hearts in 2002, and ever since then we’ve known our journey to parenthood would be through adoption. Adoption is the way we were meant to build our family.Are you adopting because you are unable to conceive a child of your own?As far as we are aware, it is very possible for us to conceive a child, but we have decided to pursue having children through adoption rather than birth! In fact, we have always tried hard to PREVENT pregnancy. How a child arrives in our lives is not important to us. More than a pregnancy, we desire to be parents, and there are many children out there who desire to have parents- it’s a perfect match!
Also, all of our children are our own no matter how they enter our family!Why did you choose international over domestic adoption?Good question! First of all this is a very personal decision. There is no right or wrong answer. EVERY child, regardless of where they were born, deserves a loving family. It’s a good thing not all people choose to adopt from the same country! In learning about both infant domestic adoption and foster care adoption we decided they were not a good match for our personalities at this present point in time.
Simply put, for us there was never a decision to be made. We knew right away that our children were not here in the USA to date. Who knows what the future holds though.Why Kazakhstan?There are many reasons to choose Kaz. First the standard of care the children get is very high quality. Secondly, there is a mandatory bonding period, or transition time, which while certainly not imperative, has been proven to be a smoother, healthier, and more stable process for the child. Third is simply that this is where we felt our children were. Kazakhstan is a beautiful country and our decision to adopt from there just felt “right.”Where is Kazakhstan?Kazakhstan is the 9th largest country in the world. It borders both Russia and China, and part of the country is in Eastern Europe and part of it in Central Asia. Click here for Map.Why Ethiopia?Due to poverty and illness, there is a large population of orphans in Ethiopia. Simply put, there is need there. Adoption isn't the answer for Ethiopia, but Ethiopia is the answer for our adoption. Ethiopia is a beautiful country and our decision to adopt from there just felt “right.”Will you be able to choose the age, race, health or gender of your child?We have provided our preferences to our agency, but ultimately we know God will place the right children in our lives.Will you meet your children’s real parents?Absolutely! We will meet with their real parents every day! When we talk to each other, when we look in the mirror, over breakfast, in the car… We ARE their real parents. On the other hand, we will most likely not meet their biological parents. This is standard for international adoption.How long will the process take? When will you be traveling?Please check out the timeline pages for each journey.I’m not familiar with discussing adoption. What are some appropriate things to say to a family?Thank you for asking! Here is a list of inappropriate comments along with the appropriate counterpart:
Do you want your own children? … Do you want biological children?
They have an adopted daughter. … They have a daughter.
They have a Kazakh daughter. … They have a daughter.
They are adoptive parents. … They are parents.
She is adopted. … She was adopted. (Adoption is a one-time event.)
Her real/natural parents. … Her biological parents. (Or- Her First parents.)
She was abandoned. … She was placed for adoption.
Her birth mom gave her up. … Her birth mom chose not to parent her.
How much did she cost? … How much does the adoption process cost?Do’s and Don’ts as taken from the book “Cross-Cultural Adoption.”
Do’s:
Do treat her like any other kid.
Do support her when curious strangers ask questions.
Do treat prospective adoptive parents the same as expectant parents.
Do acknowledge and celebrate the differences.
Don’ts:
Don’t introduce her as adopted.
Don’t say how “lucky” she is. (Or how much better off she’ll be here in the U.S.)
Don’t assume adoption is a second choice.
Don’t jump to conclusions about the birth mother.
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